During the first 3 months of my hostel life ,I tried to live like a normal girl and was pretty successful at it.I did not feel as unsettled in hostel as I thought I would. Firstly,my room had looked out to a beautiful pond (in the later years during my internship the pond was cleaned ,the surrounding bushes trimmed and a boundary was constructed around it)Needless to say,I preferred the overgrowth and the natural wild beauty of the pond.However that first sight of the water from my window actuallly made me fall in love with the hostel. Secondly,Food.Now ,I like food.Miraculously ,I am not fussy about food.I once recommended the canteen fish fry to my friends who as it turned out really hated them. About Kolkata tastebuds,I am not really sure where their highchair of preference ends.I like any food as longs its cooked well and not rotten.Kolkatans are fretty eaters.They will swear by specific restaurants for this stuff and that .But they really suck at appreciating ordinary canteens...
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Hey! Back to square 1.2.Prepping for PG medical entrances.Funny innit?How life comes to a full circle somehow. Back in 2009,I was this slightly naive teenager who started this blog at the spur of the moment .I penned down some uncomfortable truth(s) about the nature of competitive examinations and how it affects somebody. To tell you the truth,I did not have and still do not have as bad a time cramming for these exams as I did back in 2009 as a pre-med. For one I am marginally more matured and a bit more opinionated than I was.I have learnt not to give in . I have the confidence of my MBBS degree and oh! I do have rank AIR 42,051 .Which is by no stretch of imagination a good rank but a rank albeit when many folks did not qualify. Which brings to my uncomfortable overambitiousness.If somebody told me back in 2009 that I was to get a PG seat in a good albeit non-clinical branch like Microbio or Physio or Commed ,I woulda jumped at the oppurtunity. And here I am ,resolutely refusi...
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I wish all things in life were easy.Such as living with one boob instead of 2.Such as swallowing the things people say to you. Now that I look back,I find it easier to forgive her.Hse was only 21 and victim of a collective and tiresome mentality,a result of the million year worth of aesthetic beauty that the world is so obsessive about. I wasn't born uni-boob.It was the result of a surgery for a dangerously growing haemangioma that had to be done with. I grew up thinking it was funny and that I was very special .Then I came to medical school and in my 3rd year people,all females decided to end that and make me take down my high chair of comfort . So they bombarded me with awkward questions. "Is your bra askew?" "Are you wearing that bra properly?" And the more intelligent and direct "Did u have breast cancer? " Till date ,I haven't been able to decide what I am supposed to feel . Awkward/angry/defensive/aroused. LOL. Questions that bog...
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GUILT-: You sow the seed of guilt into someone ,you dont need anybody to impose anthing-no rules .No barriers.No hellfire and damnation.No nothing.You sow the seed of guilt into someone unassuming and you have him for life . Guilt is the most mysterious emotions of mankind.A very human emotion,by this I mean even dogs and cats get angry . even they get sad,angry .They lust.They love.If they committ a "crime",they will admit or they will not,but they will not be "guilty". Guilt is special.Guilt is mankind's most basic emotion and differentiates us man from animal.That is why our law commands guilty or not guilty and not just a simple "do you admit to your crime or you don't ??". Guilt is the biblical basis of our genesis.Guilt drove Brutus to sui caedere .And month after month,year after year,it drives sisters of the Cistercian Order to flagellate themselves . I will tell you of the power of this five letter word and what it inspires in ...
Un-Frustrated and Un-unhappy
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Ok so you remember that shitty and frustrated piece I wrote almost 6 years back about me not getting through MBBS entrances ?Yeah,well I am the same kid.Except that I'm in my final year of MBBS.Sounds cool?Well yeah,even I didn't think I did make it this far.I didn't think I did exist this far into life.No,honestly,it scares me sometimes too.
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Anindya finally got admission in MSc at the Central University Of Pondicherry .He had ranked 81 all over India.Granted that its not as prestigious as IIT or BHU(Which btw,he has also cracked!),he miraculously did all these without the mugging up business and caoching centres.He was extremely dedicated and diligent though,attending all his lectures and taking notes with the patience of a saint.We hope that he would get through Geophysics at BHU too. I don't how he fell in love with me........though we have a million likes and dislikes in common,Anindya is easily one of the most vibrant persons i have ever met in my life.But he easily balances his jovial nature with his seriousness and dedication towards his career and his parents.He is a strangely balanced person-A very libran trait!!God,i really do not want to lose him.I swear to you God that if i ever do,i would simply stop living.Its not that i would die in the biological sense for that is possible anytime,but i would really los...